The last thing I need is less sleep.

Lesson: Less is a mess, and fewer is a number.

The other night I woke up several time. I've been having short dreams as of late. Not very good, and less fulfilling. Practically with no meaning. So, I'm dreaming about this girl that I knew 7 years ago in college, Kim Coffman. She was in my English class freshman year and I thought she was cute. She had a boyfriend at the time, and as I've mentioned to loved ones before, it's hard to be friends with a girl when you have a girlfriend. Hard also to be friends with a girl with a boyfriend unless you are friends with the boy. I wasn't. In my dream I'm re-united with Kim. I know it's her. She's more tan now. I don't know why. We kiss and she tells me she loves me. I don't know why. But it makes me happy and we kiss. It's a dream. I'm woken by my barking dog. Heidi won't let me get close to anyone. So I wake up from this Kim Coffman dream to violent barking. I don't know what's out there, but Heidi is right by my window telling me something. I look out, fearing terrorism or worse. And I see it. There something on the fence. A cat? I'm not sure. I tell Heidi to go inside and she listens. Back through the doggie door into the garage. I look back at the fence. Fuck, what in the hell is that? I don't know. Not a cat. A rat? It's big for a rat. The tail, rat like, whips wildly. It's dark out. I mentioned that. I can't make it out. The face kind of turns to me, it's lighter and it fears nothing. It's not a rat. It's got to be a wolverine. I don't know. I've lived my whole life in a city, and it's this not knowing that has made me almost wet my pajamas. This this thing, it's still on the fence and not going anywhere. I'm thinking like a caveman now and am considering taking a baseball bat to this unknown creature. I could at least get it off the fence. I might have to do this, I fear, if I don't it could follow Heidi into the garage, through the doggie door, and confront the barker. If it kills Heidi it would come after me. I check to make sure my door is closed, and it is. I'm still wide awake and want a better look at this thing. I can't see shit but the whipping tail, and green-turning eyes. Wolverine. I think flashlight, but don't know where to look. I turn on my overhead. That doesn't help. I can't see anything outside. That does help. I close the window. Shut my blinds. Fall back into one of my shorts. The next time I awake it's gone. I didn't dream it, there was something there.

Possum, my friend tells me the next morning. I believe him because he makes sense sometimes. I think back to everything possum I know. They have little possums that ride on their back's, right? Just as creepy. Small. Babies. Wolverine like. They are nocturnal, I find. Out at night and a scary sight. Stupid, possums are. Mostly roadkill. Now I know. So, I try not to fear the possum anymore. Evidently, my neighborhood is a Possum Kingdom... Possum...Possum...Possum.

Fewer dreams, less sleep. Damn possum.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

1. I can't believe your blog got spammed. Lame
2. Buy a shotgun - I like the Remington 870 - it'll make a milkshake out of a possum
3. What happened with you and Kim after you went back to sleep? Did you close?
4. What happened to that barista from before? Where's her picture? Does she have lots of earrings (in places other than her ears) and ink? Does she know that in english it is small, medium, large?
5. What happened with the JD? I can't give you good life advice if you refuse to follow simple suggestions.

Your favorite barista said...

I fear the stalkers and sex abusers in Portland, so I will not post my goddamned photo. Piercings in my ears, ink soon. At my cafe it is small, medium and large - I speak english for Peet's sake! (Though I am mostly Itallian)