HE WILL. HE WILL.

He will be born on a Saturday.

He will be of average birth weight and length.

He will have a mother and a father, and they will love him.

He will have a brother and they will be close.

He will be lucky.

He will  know his mother’s mother and his mother’s father quite well. And, he will meet his father’s mother, but only know her a little. He won’t know his father’s father at all personally for his father’s father died when his father was in his 20s. And before he was born.

He will be raised in the southwest quadrant of the United States of America. He’ll attend public schools, and make friends and enemies.

He will have approximately seven gerbils, two parakeets, a cockatiel, a ferret, and a hermit crab. He will try tending to tropical fish during those pet years.

He will play sports but will not be too good at them. He will join clubs and quit clubs. 

He will do okay in school without fully applying himself. He will learn about new things but will get bored and distracted. He will run fast but not fast enough. He will not test well in math.

He will learn to drive and drive to different places. 

He will have various facial hair configurations. 

He will get a tattoo.

He will fall in love and out of love and back in love again. He will wonder what love is.

He will be made fun of by friends. It will take him longer than expected to reach his full potential.

He will do drugs and smoke cigarettes and enjoy them approximately 50 percent of the time. He will eat mostly what he wants. He will drink copious amounts of alcohol. He will keep mostly to himself. He will be unlucky. He will stop drinking alcohol entirely. 

He will apply for jobs that he thinks he wants. He will rarely be satisfied with his work. He will be self-conscious. He will go bald. He will make money and spend money. He will go broke and worry about money. He will not always do well.

He will have two dogs that will overlap slightly. He will be close to them both and it will be sad when they die.

Somebody will tell him that that’s just what happens when two living things form a relationship. One of them will die first and the other will die alone. Both of them die. That's just the way it goes. Everyone and everything that is living, that has lived, and that will live will. He will write this down.

FOURTEEN TENSE

It is a new year, so I will write a list in the future tense.

I will show up for work. I will show up and work.

I will concentrate.

I will drink coffee.

I will run in the morning.

I will floss my teeth at night.

I will be more patient.

I will check my work.

I will slow down when I need to slow down.

I will read. And will re-read.

I will write. And will re-write.

I will shave when I need to shave.

I will behave when I need to behave.

I will be nice to people.

I will be nice to myself.

I will be nice to animals.

I will ride my bike.

I will walk.

I will be responsible with my money.

I will get health insurance.

I will go to the movies.

I will see art.

I will call friends.

I will travel.

I will go to shows.

And that goes to show that you can write what you will. And, will yourself to write a will if that's what your want to write. Or just a list of things that you will do.