What the heat?

FAAAAWK! It's hot. What this shit is this, Africa? Jesus Christmas, I don't understand. One day I can walk around dry as dirt the next I'm forced to walk around naked as sweat slides off my skin. I "enjoyed" the nine hours or so at the workplace, shelving and sorting books and such, and then I stepped outside and it's like a sauna out there. "Oh you're used to this," some guy at work, who didn't know what he was talking about, said. Why, because I'm from New Mexico? I'm not Mexican. Or African. I'm human. Poor asito, I know, but the only useful thing to do with a brow full of sweat is fling it on your dog. And she doesn't like that all that much, and running after her you only get more sweaty. Oh, and it's hot too.

So what I'll do is this:

1. Take a piss.
2. Eat a popcicle.
3. Consider the alternatives: I could have never have left NM and it could be worse (Hotter than this?)
4. Wait for the moment where the ocean is in front of me, jump in and wait till I freeze.
5. Thaw out in the sun.
6. Turn into a tomato.
7. Come back and explain to people that your really want skin cancer and are trying to die.
8. Better yet, buy some sunscreen ("Yeah it's like three dollars.").
9. Grab a drink.
10. Savor the flavor.
11. Stop and think: when's summer over, when won't I have to worry about waking up at 4.
12. Close my eyes and think of the time yet to come that is cooler, calmer, and more promising.
13. Swallow it all down, open my eyes and make sure I've got my lost-and-found sunglasses.
14. Ahhhhh.

Ball sweat: sticking man's nuts to his legs since the end of the Ice Age.

Gah damn, what happened? Mus be summer or sum 'ting. Sheeet.

That's good enough.

1 comment :

one hot lady said...

Female "ball sweat"--see boob and thigh sweat. and another female summer joy & my personal fave...thigh rub!!