Congratulations on
your engage-
ment.
I don’t know who told me,
it’s not like we have
the same friends
anymore.
I wish I never
found out.
I do.
You may not kiss the bride.
Part of me dies in front
of my own eyes,
as I spectate it.
You are the performer in
my mind, an image, the
character there on my
computer's screen.
I see this as
wonderful
news for
you
2.
I get out the letters, and
the old photographs.
The physical things
I’m left to look at
when I’m feeling
— nostalgic is
not the right
word.
On your wedding day,
I am not there. I
wasn’t invited,
wouldn’t go
if I was.
Physically, I
am far away
and that’s
fine.
I play out the day in my head.
You, walking down the aisle
all smiles. Happy, I see
and your family,
they are so
proud.
They’ve stopped thinking about me.
My name, it doesn’t come up.
It’s not just that I’m not
there, it’s like I never
was there.
Your eyes and my
eyes make contact.
There's that
sparkle I've
seen
B4.
It’s not for me,
though, it is
for him.
It will never
be for me
again.